Health Topics

Crying in Newborns

When Your Baby Cries: What to Know and How to Cope

Remember how happy you felt when you first heard your baby cry? Remember that when his or her crying becomes frustrating. All babies cry, some cry a lot - even if they're healthy and all their physical needs are met.

However, knowing that your baby's crying is natural is not the same as coping with it. In fact, you may find that one of the most difficult things you must learn to handle as a new parent is your baby's crying.

Why your baby cries

• Your baby usually cries because he needs something.

• He may cry because he's sick.

• He may cry because of colic.

When you suspect your baby is crying because she needs something

Your baby may be crying because she's hungry, thirsty, wet, itchy, cold, lonely, frightened, bored, in pain, frustrated, over-stimulated or in a position she finds uncomfortable. This checklist can help you determine - and resolve - the problem.

• Feed her if she's hungry, but be careful about overfeeding. (See below)
• Burp her.
• Change her diaper. (Note: A disposable diaper might feel dry to you even when it isn't.)
• Touch and speak to your baby in a comforting way.
• Hold her.
• Change the position she's resting in.
• Undress her completely to check for anything that might cause discomfort, such as a "caught" toe or twisted undershirt.
• Bicycle her legs to rid her of gas.
• Try infant massage.
• Give her a warm, gentle bath.
• Give her some space and a chance to settle down: leave her alone in her own bed for five to 10 minutes.

• Swaddling. Wrap your baby in a blanket so he feels secure.
• Side or stomach position. Hold your baby so he's lying on his side or stomach. But always put him on his back when he goes to sleep.
• Shushing. Create "white noise" that drowns out other noises: run the vacuum cleaner, hair drier, fan or clothes drier.
• Swinging. Create a rhythmic motion of any kind. For example, take your baby for a ride in a stroller or car.
• Sucking. Let the baby suck on something, such as a pacifier.

When you think your baby is crying because he might be sick

• Call your pediatrician

• Call St. V’s Children’s Crying Baby Hotline (419-251-5555 or toll-free, 1-877-251-5437, ext. 5555).

When you think your baby is crying because of colic

All babies cry the most between three weeks and three months of age. But babies with colic cry a lot more. Coping with a colicky baby is easier if you understand what colic is.

Colic is a type of infant behavior. It is something that a baby does, not something that a baby has. Colicky babies are healthy and thriving, seem comfortable during the day, but cry uncontrollably for up to several hours (three to four) at a time, generally at night. Colic crying is intense, not weak or sickly. Wessel's Rules of Three's is one way to tell if it may be colic:

1. Your baby cries up to three hours a day, sometimes even a little more.
2. Your baby has long crying episodes three or more days a week.
3. Your baby is between three weeks and three months old.

The term colic is used because your baby may look as if he's in pain during crying episodes: he'll pull his legs up, clench his fists, tense his stomach and/or thrash around. As he cries, he swallows air, which contributes to gas. Sometimes he'll move his bowels at the end of a crying episode, leading you to believe he had a bellyache. It's hard to tell.

Although it's commonly thought that cow's milk causes colic, a link between the two has not been proven. (Some people believe that even breast-fed babies can be colicky because of their mother's consumption of cow's milk.) Formula companies tap into this and claim to have the cure for colic with their various “alternative” formulas. Keep in mind that frequently changing the formula you are feeding your baby or limiting your diet if you're nursing usually is not a good idea.

Diagnosis of colic
Your doctor may diagnose colic based on what you tell her, along with a physical exam to see if your baby has any health problems. Create a “crying diary” to help your doctor make a diagnosis: record the date, time and duration of each crying episode, along with what you think may have caused it and whether anything helped to lessen the crying.

Doctors consider colic a “diagnosis of exclusion,” which means that other, less common medical conditions need to be ruled out. If your doctor determines your baby has no other problem, she will call it colic.

Treating colic
In general, talk to your doctor before giving your baby any medication to treat colic, including home or herbal remedies or teething medicine. It is possible to harm your baby by giving him alcohol (such as wine) or too much teething medicine or other over-the-counter medicines, so be sure to follow the instructions exactly.

Different babies respond differently to attempts to soothe them, and all the methods listed here may not work. Also, just because something worked once doesn't mean it will work every time, so you need to be patient and try all of these strategies.

• Call your baby's doctor anytime you feel your baby is seriously ill.
• Seek medical attention immediately if you think your baby's crying might be the result of a fall, injury or vigorous shaking.

Helpful tips for you and your baby

Don't overfeed
A common response to a crying baby is to offer the breast or bottle - but do not overfeed your baby. Babies usually shouldn't need to eat any more often than once every three hours.

If you breastfeed your baby, more frequent feedings often means he gets a small volume of lower-fat, higher lactose (sugar) milk, rather than the high-fat milk he receives when he feeds less often but empties your breast completely. When he empties your breast, he should be satisfied for at least two to three hours without being fed again. Drinking smaller amounts of low-fat milk can cause your baby to produce more gas, be hungrier and fussier and have poor weight gain.

If you feed your baby formula, his crying may convince you he needs more in the bottle, but again, avoid the temptation to overfeed, which can distend your baby's stomach. That causes more gas and more crying.

Use pacifiers properly
Babies are comforted by sucking, and some babies want to suck a lot. However, letting your baby suck on a bottle or breast too long can result in overfeeding. And if you're breastfeeding, too much sucking can make your nipples sore. That's where pacifiers, used properly, come in: they let your baby suck for comfort when she doesn't need to eat. Using a pacifier instead of having your baby suck on his thumb or finger will be easier to discontinue when the time is right. Usually, you should stop using a pacifier to comfort your baby by the time you wean her; you can substitute another comforting object at that point.

If you use a pacifier, you do need to be careful. Never put the pacifier on a cord and hang it around your baby's neck: babies can strangle this way. Be sure to check the pacifier each day. Look for worn and loose parts. Pick at it and pull on it: if you can pull it apart, so can your baby. Always throw a pacifier away if it's damaged.

Keep in mind that your baby may not take to a pacifier right away: she may accidentally spit it out and get more frustrated. You'll need to be patient until she learns to use it. Babies who use pacifiers may even have a lower rate of SIDS.

Avoid over-stimulation
Some babies are higher-strung than others: too much stimulation - noise, being handled, or bright lights - is more than they can handle. If your baby is over-stimulated or over-tired, he may cry to unwind and release tension.

Your baby may give you hints that over-stimulation is the problem: he may turn or pull away from you, close his eyes, stiffen in your arms, spit up or regard you with a glazed stare. While his behavior might seem like your baby is rejecting your efforts to comfort him, that isn't the case.

Here are some tips to avoid over-stimulating your baby:

• Keep lights low.
• Keep noise levels to a minimum, and provide white noise.
• Gradually introduce stimuli one at a time.
• Learn your baby's hunger signs and feed him when signs are first shown.
• Provide soft, snug clothing. Try to discover which textures are comforting.
• Swaddle your baby.
• Lessen distractions in the bedroom. Avoid mobiles. Use plain bumper pads. Simplify room decorations. Avoid clutter and busyness.

Learn the difference between myths and facts

Knowing the facts can help you better deal with your baby when she cries.

Myth: If you pick your baby up when she cries, she'll get spoiled.
Fact: In the first six months of life, your baby can't be spoiled. She doesn't have the brainpower to think up such a strategy, e.g., “If I cry, someone will come pick me up.” Your baby is designed to cry in response to any kind of discomfort. Crying is the one way she can communicate her needs at this young age: it's an instinct. You cannot “teach” your baby to stop acting on this instinct by refusing to pick her up when she cries.

Myth: If you wait to respond to your crying baby, she'll learn to soothe herself.
Fact: The quicker you respond, the shorter your baby's crying episode lasts. And here's a bonus: babies who have their cries quickly and consistently answered are more likely as they grow older to communicate by talking instead of by crying and whining.

Myth: Crying is good for your baby's lungs.
Fact: Crying increases your baby's heart rate and decreases her oxygen levels. When your baby's cries are not answered, she remains in distress. However, unless your baby was premature or has health problems, short periods of crying are not harmful to her.

Take care of yourself

Having a baby that cries a lot is exhausting and frustrating. You need to take care of yourself and recharge so you can take care of your baby. Here are a few suggestions:

• Express yourself. Seek out a good listener and talk about your feelings.
• Get support. Negotiate “shifts” with your partner and/or ask a friend or relative for help.
• Join a mother's group. Find out what has worked for other moms - or just commiserate!
• Rest. When baby naps, you do, too.
• Take a break. Arrange for a regularly scheduled babysitter at least twice a week. Ask a trusted person - your spouse, friend, neighbor or relative - to help care for the baby so you can have some “me” time.
• Escape! Get out of the house regularly, with or without your baby.
• Contact Help Me Grow for support.

When you struggle to cope with your baby's crying

• It's not your fault. It's not a reflection on your ability as a parent.
• Your child is not angry with you.
• Good babies cry.
• It won't last forever.
• How wonderful it was to hear your baby's first cry in the delivery room.

Above all, don't lose control

• Call our Crying Baby Hotline at 419-251-5555. (If this is a long-distance call for you, call 1-877-251-5437, and ask for extension 5555.)

• Call your pediatrician to talk about the problem.

• If you need to, call 911 or go to the emergency room.
  

Whatever you do:

• Never leave your baby with someone if you are not absolutely sure they can handle the crying.
• Never shake a baby. For more information on the dangers of shaking a baby or to request a speaker on Shaken Baby Syndrome, call 419-251-8103.

We can help you cope with your crying baby

St. V’s Children’s Crying Baby Hotline is a free service you can call for help any time of the day or night: we operate 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. Just call 419-251-5555. (If this is a long-distance call for you, call 1-877-251-5437, and ask for extension 5555.)

We can help you decide if your baby needs medical attention, provide you with ideas on how to soothe your baby and/or just talk to you and listen to your concerns. We can even refer you to helpful community services if you need them.

So please, don't hesitate to call us. For care - and caring - you can believe in.

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